ytinummoC
by HighlyOveractiveImagination
Summary: After Abed starts behaving strangely normal, the group decides to become their opposite selves in order to get him back to abnormal.
1. Chapter 1

It had been going on since after the summer, since the very first day of the new school year.

Abed had been behaving absurdly, unbelievably, normal.

No one could explain it, though Britta had tried, claiming it to be a reaction to some incident with his father, but no one _really_ knew why.

He hadn't made a single reference to anything, hadn't said anything meta, hadn't partaken in any antics with Troy, hadn't once said the word "cool".

In other words, he was behaving like the exact opposite of himself.

Rather than spending his time in fantasy he had been focused almost entirely on reality. Even the cadence of his voice had become less clinical and robotic.

It reminded Jeff of the time they had shared a meal in Abed's "Homage" to my dinner with Andre.

Whatever the reason though, the group knew they had to do something about it.

Without Abed's usual weirdness the study room felt hollow and eerie, lunches went by without incident, classes dragged on, and the second hand on the clock counted off boring second after boring second.

Action had to be taken to retrieve the real Abed from wherever he was.

A meeting was held in the storage room to decide what had to be done. It was eventually concluded that the only way to snap Abed out of this persona was to make him realize how out of place his behavior was.

But how?

Simple, the other members of the group would have to become their opposite selves so that Abed could see what he was doing. Like looking in a mirror, he would understand what was happening and stop behaving so normally.

Jeff would become Ffej-

Well, not literally, his name would still be Jeff, but he would become his opposite self so his name spelled backwards is like his opposite name.

You get it, moving on.

Jeff would become Ffej: The uncharismatic, reserved and self-conscious follower. The member of the group who is always concerned about other people and so often forgets to take care of himself. So often does he stick his nose into other people's business that it's actually kind of annoying. A studious, hardworking individual, modest both in personality and in his way of life.  
He's also straight, unlike regular Jeff (according to Pierce).

Britta would become Attirb: A self-centered consumer, concerned only with herself and not the issues of others or the world. Obsessed with material looks and possessions she does not involve herself in things that don't have to do with her. The world revolves around her and she is only attracted to kind and reliable men who treat her like a princess.  
Because she is a princess, duh.

Troy would become Yort: The very intelligent, incredibly serious member of the group. Terse and to the point, clear in everything he said and good at understanding concepts. Unemotional and detached with limited physical motion and interaction. Intensely focused, hardly anything able to distract him, and much more concerned with the components of reality than the temptations of fantasy. Well-spoken and to the point, a utilitarian realist with no patience for frivolous time wasting.

Shirley would become Yelrihs: The neutral, flavorless member of the group. Not gentle or sweet, but also not tough or rude. Generally without an opinion of her own, just going along with whatever others say without any conviction or energy. A bland sheep who follows others and has no heart to either agree or disagree. A simple woman who rarely speaks and when she does it is only to apologize for not being agreeable enough.  
A dull and submissive part of the scenery.

Annie would become Einna: The apathetic member of the group, uncaring in every way. Classes? Whatever, who cares. Friends? Who gives a damn. Not one single thing is worthy of her effort, she skates by, barely doing the minimum to succeed. She doesn't make real connections and doesn't care one bit about what other people think about her. She doesn't try at anything, she doesn't care about anything, the only reason she's in the study group is because she likes having the table to kick her feet up on while she plays games on her phone.  
Of course, she doesn't care about the games either, she just wants something to do.  
A bored, apathetic girl with no motivation whatsoever.

Pierce would become Ecreip: Or at least he would have if the group had invited him. He had received a mysterious message from his Neo-Buddhist temple about a seminar for special members only. It involved dressing up and attending multiple events over the course of five days.  
It was actually an anime con, but it was doubtful that Pierce would know the difference.  
But if he had been invited, he would have been the considerate, open-minded, affectionate member of the group. Tactful and kind and giving, not to mention humble and loyal.  
A true friend to all who needed one.

Pfff, as if Pierce could have pulled that off.

And Chang would-

Wait, when the hell did Chang come into this!?

Well, um, ok, I guess Chang was part of the plan too.

Chang would become Gnahc: A person who the group _unanimously_ decided was _never there at all_. They _all agreed_ that the opposite of the ever present Chang would be someone who was so absent it was almost as though _they weren't there.  
_ An invisible member of the group, a ghost, in fact it would probably be best if Chang just stayed home.

Yeah, that would be for the best.

They would become these people, for as long as it took to get Abed back.

And so, plan Deba commenced.


	2. Chapter 2

Abed entered the study room humming cheerfully when his eyes fell upon a strange sight.

Troy and Jeff bent over some papers and a textbook, chatting intently about the math problems they were trying to solve. Both dressed comfortably but not attractively, Troy in a button up shirt and Jeff in a plain tee and worn out jeans.  
Britta dressed extravagantly in heels, short shorts, and a low cut, cherry red tank top. Her face was plastered with make-up which she was checking in a small mirror.  
Shirley was silently sitting at the table staring absently into space. Her arms folded tightly over her stomach and her shoulders hunched.  
Annie and Pierce nowhere to be found.

Abed glanced over his friends a few more times before Jeff's head popped up and he smiled brightly.

"Hey Abed! How are you doing buddy?" Abed frowned at Jeff's hair that was combed neatly to the side, not a trace of gel in it.

"I'm fine" he responded hesitantly "where's Annie?"

"Who cares!" Britta groaned without looking away from her mirror.

"I do." Jeff replied and gave Britta a hard look "Abed is right, where is Annie? Shirley, have you seen her?"

Shirley shrugged.

"Troy?"

"I haven't seen her, but I spent all morning in the library reading so that doesn't mean she's not here. You know how she detests the library."

Jeff shook his head "This isn't good, none of us have seen Annie, I hope she's ok."

"Oh she'll be fine, she's probably just running late, like always." Britta said with a roll of her eyes.

Jeff 'hmm'ed in agreement.

Abed, in the meantime, was looking between the members of the group with wide eyes and drawn eyebrows. His mouth opening and closing like he was about to say something but couldn't get it out.

"But Annie is never late." He finally managed to say, his voice unsure.

Everyone laughed except Shirley, who only broke into a small smile as she continued to stare blankly into space.

Abed's confusion deepened "But she isn't." He tried to protest, but it came out weakly. There was a brief silence as everyone returned Abed's puzzled expression.

Troy stood and walked around the table to face the thin boy.

"Are you feeling well Abed." He asked, he was standing a good distance away from his friend, more than usual, and his tone was completely serious.

"I'm fine, it's the rest of you who are acting weird." He said, pointing to each of them in turn.

"What are you talking about? We're always like this." Britta said through blood red lipstick that she had just reapplied for the third time.

It was almost an exact quote of what Abed had said to them when they had tried to address his strangely average behavior.

He stumbled back and glanced from one to the other his face on the brink of horror.

One by one his eyes met those of the group.

The glazed over eyes of a lackluster Shirley.

The overly concerned blue irises of Jeff who had just set a hand on his shoulder.

The distant and calculating gaze of Troy through a pair of glasses.

The arrogant and disdainful glare Britta was throwing him from over her make-up mirror.

"Maybe we should go look for Annie, since you're so worried about her." Jeff finally said, breaking the silence.

"We?" Abed asked.

"Well of course, I'm worried about her too," Jeff replied, taking the thin shoulders of his friend in both hands "and even if I wasn't I'd still help you look for her, because if it matters to you, it matters to me."

"I suppose I will come as well." Troy said reluctantly.

Jeff looked expectantly at Britta who heaved an enormous sigh before spitting out the word "fine".

"Do you want me to come Abed?" Shirley asked. It was the first time she had spoken and her voice was a monotonous whisper that didn't sound anything like her friendly voice or her angry voice.

"Why are you asking me?" He said, to which Shirley lowered her head and shrugged timidly.

"Well Abed, we don't usually mention it, but you're kind of the leader of the group." Was Jeff's answer, he smiled with a gentle kind of admiration as everyone nodded their agreement.

Abed almost said 'I am?' but refrained as he realized that everyone was not only looking at him, but also looking to him.

It was an odd sort of feeling that terrified Abed as well as made him happy. Like he was the shepherd to a flock of helpless sheep that would wind up in some sort of ridiculous trouble without him.

 _Is this how Jeff usually feels?_ He thought, but then he remembered that the Jeff standing before him who looked like he desperately wanted to give Abed a big hug, was not _that_ Jeff.

What was going on?

Then Annie walked in.

She was dressed in a loose t-shirt and sweat pants that did not fit very well. Her hair fell down around her face in utter chaos where usually it laid flat, combed to perfection.

She wore no make-up and had no backpack.

Abed was shocked into silence as she sat down next to Shirley without a word.

"Told you she was just running late." Britta said, putting away her mirror and getting out her phone, which she used to take a selfie.

"Annie!" Jeff said, completely ignoring Britta "Why are you so late?" He asked, walking around the table so he could bend down and look her in the eye like a worried mother.

Annie blinked sleepily and looked at the clock on the wall.

"I'm late?" She asked.

"Ugh" Was Britta's reply to that.

"Yes, you are, and we were all really worried about you." He stated with an exaggerated nod.

"Pretty sure that was just you Jeff." Britta said with a snort. Jeff didn't reply, he just blushed a little and continued to stare at Annie until she realized he expected a response.

"Whatever, I'm fine." She said.

"Tell that to your outfit because I don't think it got the memo." Britta said.

Annie didn't even react, she just pulled out her phone and began playing some unnamed game. Britta kept going though

"Seriously, you could at least bathe you look like that kid from Peanuts, the one who always has a cloud of dirt around him."

"Britta! Be nice. Even if Annie did come in a little late that's no excuse for rude language." Jeff piped in, and Britta rolled her eyes. "I mean it, there's no such thing as a good reason to insult somebody, because everyone has feelings and-"

"Will you shut up? Jesus, I'm beginning to think your heart is almost as big as your forehead is." Britta interrupted him. The room fell silent and Jeff self-consciously patted down his bangs and sniffed.

"Thank you Britta, I do have a big heart, which is why I'm going to forgive you for what you just said about my forehead."

"Okay, what is going on here!?" Abed shouted suddenly, and everyone turned to look at him.

"Isn't it obvious? Jeff is playing the mother hen again, but since the rest of us are grown-ups he also has to be the baby." Britta answered while snapping another pic of herself.

"No, I mean here! In the study room! Everything is wrong, you guys are acting wrong!" He screamed.

Jeff walked over and made gentle eye contact with Abed.

"So what is the right way for us to act?" he asked.

"Shirley should be stubborn." The woman shook her head and glanced nervously about, as though the accusation might offend someone.

"Troy should be easily distracted, loyal, and always speaking without thinking." Troy frowned and pursed his in disapproval of his description.

"Annie should be caring, about everything." Annie didn't look up from her phone.

"Britta should be in everybody's business, focused on everything but herself." That earned an 'ew' from the woman.

"And you, Jeff, you should be nonchalant, cool, uncaring, and distant." Jeff looked hard at Abed and asked

"And what about you? What should you be?"

Abed froze, his mouth open as though about to reply.

He was at a crossroads. Because he was a vital part of the group, and he couldn't point out the incorrectness of the others without acknowledging it in himself.

He was the eccentric, kooky, but lovable and fun member of the group. The one the others cared about without knowing why. The one who said he never needed help but got it anyways whenever he really did need it. The one who seemed the most distant but was always kept closest to the heart.

He was the one that made the group realize that their shenanigans were just that, shenanigans. Like a camera crew that followed them around, he gave them perspective so their feuds never lasted and their adventures were always remembered.

He was the piece of the puzzle that made the image clear so the group could enjoy the whole picture.

In other words, he was the only thing that made the group and everything that happened to them, bearable. And not just bearable, but fun.

But if he said that, he'd be forced to admit that he hadn't been acting like himself at all recently. He'd have to come to terms with what had triggered the change and he'd have to change back.

But that only would happen if _he_ was the one who pointed out the strange behavior of his friends, but if someone else did it…

"I need to go see the Dean." He said, and darted out of the room.

Crap, the Dean! They hadn't planned on that, and it had been going so well.

The group broke character for a brief moment to share panicked looks before chasing after Abed.

They could only hope to catch him before he arrived at the office of the man with the most flamboyantly unique character in all of Greendale, and perhaps even the world.


	3. Chapter 3

As Abed jogged through the halls his mind was racing. Chasing itself around and around in circles, trying to avoid the ever present reality.

The group was behaving the opposite of how they usually acted. He knew this because he knew them, because he was a member of the group. Thinking that would force him to evaluate himself and his own behavior and force him to realize that he was also behaving the exact opposite way of his usual self.

That could not be allowed to happen.

He heard Jeff shouting his name from behind him and picked up the pace, almost crashing into star-

Wait a minute, since when did starburns become moonburns?

 _Keep moving_ Abed told himself, if he could just get to the Dean's office he would be able to escape the self-realization the group was forcing onto him. The Dean, with all his eccentricities, would allow him to slip back into unawareness.

He could hear the group get closer, but he was fast, and before they could catch up to him, he burst into the Dean's office.

"Dean I-" He looked up to see a man seated at his desk, dressed in a tailored black suit with a blue tie and a very nice hairpiece covering his head. The man looked up and said, in a low and professional voice.

"I would prefer it if you scheduled an appointment, but how can I help you Mr. Nadir?"

Abed was at a loss for words, he could only shake his head at the bland room and the expressionless Dean before him.

The rest of the group arrived, piling into the small office.

"Please, I am a busy man, I do not have time for one of my students let alone six of them. Please get out, if there is a problem, talk to someone else about it." The Dean said firmly with an impatient sigh.

"Sorry Craig-I mean, Dean Pelton- we were just looking for Abed." Jeff said with an awkward laugh.

"Well you've found him, now take him and go." The Dean glared at Jeff.

Abed kept shaking his head, and in one last desperate attempt he ran over to the closet he knew contained the Dean's costumes and threw it open.

Inside there was nothing but a line of suits identical to the one the Dean was wearing currently.

Abed turned slowly to look at his friends.

The Dean was shifting away from Jeff's adoring gaze. Britta was taking a selfie. Annie was just now strolling in. Shirley was staring blankly into space. Troy was looking at Abed like he was some kind of lab specimen.

And just like that, something snapped in Abed, but not in a bad way, it was like something snapping into place.

"So have all your positrons been negatized or is this something else?"

What an Abed thing to say.

The air was tense for a moment, then everyone burst out laughing in triumph and they all rushed over to hug Abed.

Troy extended his hand for their handshake and Annie squealed and hugged him tight. Shirley patted his head affectionately before warning him he had better not do that again. Britta was trying to get Abed to talk about what had triggered his reaction, she even had a pencil and pad of paper out.

Jeff was standing in the back, ignoring the Dean's hand on his pectoral, smiling smugly at Abed.

Everything was back to normal.

* * *

 _The following week_

* * *

"That storage room is off limits now, since the Dean seems to like hanging around it so often." Jeff said as he entered the study room.

"Well it was fortunate he was, otherwise your plan would have never worked." Abed replied from behind him.

"Yeah, well we wouldn't have needed the plan at all if it weren't for you." Jeff said with a mixture of annoyance and affection.

"I am impressed by how well you all were able to analyze your personalities and play the opposite." Abed said, setting his should bag down on the table.

"Well, it was my idea." Jeff said arrogantly as he sat down in his usual seat.

"Actually, I would say that your character was the least accurate." Abed stated and the self-assured look vanished from Jeff's face.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, you played your opposite as someone who cared a lot about everybody, as though the real you doesn't care about anyone. But your opposite should have been someone who pretends to care about people but really doesn't because your real self is someone who pretends not to care about people, but really does." Abed explained.

"Oh yeah?" Jeff asked, his lawyer voice demanding evidence from the opposing party.

"You did say it was your idea."

Case closed. Jeff smiled at his friend and pulled out his phone so he wouldn't have to acknowledge the loss.

"I am curious how you got starburns to change his sideburns, did you have to blackmail him like in Burn After Reading?"

"What are you talking about?" Jeff looked up from his phone.

"Starburns, his sideburns are moons now. Which I guess makes him moonburns, which is weird-"

"Stop right there, are you telling me that starburns changed his sideburns?"

Abed nodded, and frowned.

"So you didn't…" He trailed off.

Jeff looked at Abed with wide eyes, and Abed looked at him back with even wider eyes.

Then they both sprinted out of the study room to go look for "moonburns".


End file.
